It's Important to Talk

Hello loves <3

     Yesterday evening I decided to try and film a video on body image. As some of you may know, I've written about body image and the personal issues and experiences I have/have had with it. I thought that maybe I could branch out and make a YouTube video about it as well because I was able to get out what I wanted to say when I wrote those posts.

     So I turned the camera on and my mind went almost completely blank. In the past, I've written that I can't talk things out as well as I can write things out. I mean, the two are no where close. If I try to talk to someone about a problem I'm having or possibly need to confront someone about something they did, I'll go mute!

     But, I thought that because I wasn't talking to a person - in the flesh, I mean. I know that I'm talking to an audience when I film - it'd be just as easy as writing a blog post about it. NOPE (lol). My brain couldn't form words and I just got really emotional. I couldn't talk about it because I didn't know what to say and felt like I was making a fool of myself.

     Starting a YouTube channel was going to be my fresh start. A place where I could talk about anything and everything I wanted - just like my blog. But I thought that because I talk rather than write, creating videos would help me overcome my problem.

     It's hard to open up. More so for some than others. We all have our own personal things that we deal with and it doesn't make the situation better if you can't talk about it.

     Do any of you have tips? Tips on opening up, tips on being able to actually form sentences that will come out of my mouth when I'm talking (not in general, just when I'm talking about how I'm feeling or a conflict that I've been keeping inside)? Please share.

     Also, do any of you have this problem? Am I the only one who can't speak what I can type?

     It's important to talk. If you don't speak, everything is held inside. And the longer it's kept inside, the longer the build up will be till you explode out of stress, worry, and negativity. I don't want to explode! (lol again.) But seriously, I want to talk. I just can't.

     Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon,

*computer hug*

Old vs. New

Hello loves <3

     In just 3 days, it will be summer break (for my school district, at least). And I don't think that has completely sunk in yet. Summer break is a break from school, freedom, almost 3 months of no schoolwork, vacation, and sun. No pencils, no calculators, no assignments: IN JUST 3 DAYS!

     This school year has gone by so fast, and I can't wait for summer break. But I'm also excited for the next school year. To some that probably sounds ridiculous, but this year I will be entering high school. A whole new grade, school, and environment. And I'm excited.

     The title of this post is old vs. new and something I've been contemplating writing about is change and how some people aren't comfortable with it because they are always following the same routine and they have stuck to it for ages. But, it's important to explore and try new things.

     High school isn't really a choice I get to make, it's something I have to go though. But I do have the choice of whether or not I'll go in with a good attitude or a not so good one. This choice, in ANY situation, is what will make it or break it for you - and you have that power.

     So, yes, there are hardships and things that worry me about high school, but I'd rather focus on how I'll overcome those things and the good things that high school brings than the opposite.

     So if you have a change coming into your life, keep what I've said in mind.

     Look forward to summer-themed posts coming your way!

     Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon.

*computer hug*

50 Questions You've Never Been Asked

Hello loves <3

     Chloe, aka Professional Daydreamer, found this tag on Tumblr (read her post here!) and I absolutely loved reading her responses so I decided to give it a go!

1. What's your favorite candle scent?
Tiki Beach or Pumpkin Gingerbread (both from Bath & Body Works)

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?
Cierra Ramirez

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?
Neil Patrick Harris

4. How old do you think you'll be when you get married?
Late 20's

5. Do you know a hoarder?
No...but I tend to keep things I could probably throw away

6. Can you do a split?
Nope :/

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?
5 I think

8. How many ocean have you swam in?
3

9. How many countries have you been to?
3 (Israel, US, Dominican Republic)

10. Is anyone in your family in the army?
No, but my dad served for 12 years

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?
Possibly Eden

12. What would you name your son if you had one?
Possibly Eli

13.What's the worst grade you've gotten on a test?
Funny story, in 3rd grade I got a 29% on a math test (lol)

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?
Anything on the Boomerang channel

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?
Honestly, no idea

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games, or Twilight series?
All of Harry Potter, 2/3 of Hunger Games

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?
I'd keep my American accent

18. Did your mother go to college?
Yes

19. Are your grandparents still married?
On my dad's side, yes. My grandfather passed away before I met him on my mom's side.

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?
No, but I went to a Tai kwon do party a looonnngg time ago, haha

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?
Of course

22. First amusement park you've been to? Can you class Disney as an amusement park?
It's in Israel - "Lunapark"; I think Disney's much more than an amusement park!

23. What language would you like to be fluent in?
Italian

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?
It used to be gray, but recently I've switched, lol

25. Is your father bald?
No

26. Do you know triplets?
Yes

27. Titanic or The Notebook?
Titanic, nothing could ever live up to it

28. Have you ever had Indian food?
Yes! Once, though. Now I want some :(

29. Name your favorite restaurant.
Oggi or Bravo

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?
Yes, their breadsticks are bomb

What's with all these food questions, LOL.

31. Have you joined any warehouse stores? (Costco, BJ's)
No

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?
Harel; it's both a male and female name

33. If you have a nickname, what is it?
Harely (family) Harold (friends)

34. Favorite person in the world?
Any member of my family...or Troye Sivan

35. Would you rather live in a rural or suburban area?
Not sure, I'll see where the future takes me :)

36. Can you whistle?
Sort of...

37. Do you sleep with a night light?
No

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?
Every. Single. Morning. Breakfast is my love.

39. Do you take pills or medications daily?
Just anti-allergy pills

40. Any medical conditions?
None

41. How many times have you been to the hospital?
2 because I hurt myself, not including visiting my mom when she was pregnant, etc.

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?
Many times! Classic film.

43. Where do you buy your jeans?
Forever 21, American Eagle, Macy's

44. Last compliment you got?
It's not really about me, but I did my friend's hair and my teacher liked it (LOL)

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?
Usually no, there's the occasional yes.

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?
Mint, chamomile, raspberry

47. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
Too many to count!

48. What religion will you raise your child(ren) to practice?
Judaism

49. How old were you when you found out Santa wasn't real?
I don't know, I celebrate Hanukkah ;)

50. Why do you have a Tumblr?
Connor Franta & Harry Potter

     I hope you enjoyed reading these peculiar questions I answered, haha. Share some of your answers in a post or in the comments below!

     Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon.

*computer hug*

Future Plans (Writing A Book?)

Hello loves <3

     As I've written countless times before, writing is my passion. I can't talk out things as well as I can write them. I want a career pursuing writing. I want to study the art that is writing and journalism. I want a future with writing in it.

     I don't know if I've written this online before, but I want to write a book.

     When I think of books I think of: that musky smell of the pages. I think of the dim bedside table lamp illuminating the pages when you're in bed at midnight. I think of shelves upon shelves of paperbacks and hardbacks piled high. I think of the joyous feeling I get when I'm sucked into a book, mesmerized by its intricate plot.

     Writing a book - 3 words, a whole lot of meaning. Thinking about it right now, from where I am in my life at this moment in time, it seems so far away. But daydreaming about being able to hold - physically hold - something I've written, something that I've created, fills my heart with so much love and desire.

     If I write a book, I want to create something that gives people the amazing feeling I get when I'm reading a book that has hooked my attention, a book I can't put down even though I know I have a paper to write or a math sheet to do.

     I don't know what it'll be about. I don't know whether it'll be fiction or nonfiction. I don't know how many pages or chapters it'll have. And I don't know anything about writing a book. But here's to the future and expanding talents.

     Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon.

*computer hug*

Slow Weeks, Fast Weeks

Hello loves <3

     Do you ever find that some weeks seem to drag on...and on, and on, and on, and the weekend just seems so far away? Do you ever find that some weeks just breeze by and before you know it it's Friday? I feel both of these quite often, some more than others and each at different periods of time.

     When weeks just drag on forever, I feel like I'll never pull through. Sometimes I want to fall asleep in school, right there and then. Sometimes I'm content and actually enjoy what I'm learning, so that hour and a half of class goes faster than the 3 other periods. Sometimes I'll wake up on a Monday and think it's Thursday - which then results in a moment of silent crying. Sometimes I'll wake up on a Thursday and think it's Monday - which then results in a moment of silent celebration.

     Here's how I see the school/work week: Monday and Tuesday are 1 big hill you have to hike - you have trouble getting out of bed and have to physically force yourself out. Wednesday is reaching the top of the hill - halfway there, the next 2 days will be a breeze. Thursday and Friday are what waits beyond the top of the hill. You run down and are met with relaxation and freedom - the weekend is so close you can practically feel the familiar feeling of comfort in bed while binge watching your favorite show.

     But why do some weeks feel incredibly fast while others astonishingly slow?

     Do you guys ever feel this sensation?

     And exam weeks are certainly not going to help! Yes, exams signal that we are closer than ever to summer break, but they are also some of the slowest hours. The exam itself is not that slow, because you have something to do. After the exam is what bores me. You have to wait until all of the school is done, which can sometime take endless hours. But once that's over (hopefully) the rest of the day is a breeze.

      Exam weeks aside, my favorite time of the school week is Thursday afternoon. I can feel the weekend (lol, sounds weird). What is your favorite time/day of the school/workweek?

     Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon.

*computer hug*

Home

Hello loves <3

     I am almost certain in one of my first posts I shared with you guys that I was born in Israel. If not, here's some information about me. Both my parents were born in Israel and I was as well. I lived there for 3 years and then moved to America for my dad's job and have lived here ever since. 

     I LOVE the United States - absolutely love! But nothing changes the fact that Israel is my home. Some of you may be able to relate: when you move from somewhere you've lived in for a while (yes, three years that I don't remember in detail are not a while, but the place hold so much meaning to me), and then you grow used to your new location, but it still isn't the same.

     As I've grown older and visited Israel, I've come to appreciate it more. The culture, the food, the weather, the attractions, everything! Since I haven't seen all of Israel, it holds a special place in my heart. It's where my family is, where I was born, a country I truly belong in.

     Some of my favorite memories, big and small, were events that took place there. One of the smallest and most important memories to me is going to the little market 30 feet away from my grandma's apartment complex and buying her groceries. Scanning the aisles trying the find the exact items she needed; reading all the labels in Hebrew; surrounded by people of my culture; feeling like I belong. To this day, I long to return and do it again :) That may seem like a tiny, unimportant thing to remember. But, life here is different to there. The closest store to my house has a BUSY intersection right in-between it and me; which isn't the most fun to cross.

     Another amazing memory is parasailing over the ocean. A couple years ago my family and I were staying in a hotel and up in the sky were all these colorful flying things. So my uncle and I went to check them out and I ended up strapped to a parachute for 20 amazing minutes. Flying over the ocean, looking into its crystal blue waters. We even flew over to the hotel and waved to my family sitting by the pool! The man on the parachute had a camera on a stick (the earlier version of a selfie stick, lol) and took a super cool picture of me in the sky.

     Just 2 memories of my whole other life. I cherish them and hold on, hoping that I'll be reunited with the beautiful country once again. My parents are thinking of sending my sister and I by ourselves next summer!! We usually go as a family and we used to go a lot more often :( But this time I'm pretty sure it'll just be the two of us.

     My best friend that I've practically known since birth (I'm a bit more than a month older than her) moved from Israel to California so only my grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. live there now. The other day we were Snapchatting and it felt really good to catch up, but it made me miss her terribly. I'm going to write an entire post about that small experience because maybe some of you can kind of relate, I hope :)

     The main reason I wrote this post is because I wanted to stress how important it is to remain close to your home, wherever it may be. So keep those special memories close to your heart. And if you've lived in the same place your entire life, don't just make a decision to leave because you're tired of it. Explore it some more before you go, haha. I want to make an effort to explore where I live currently. Because even though I think I've seen everything...I haven't (that'll be much easier when I'm old enough to get my license!).

     Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon.

*computer hug*

A Bit of a Catch-Up

Hello loves <3

     I won't just start back up with writing this post without giving you an explanation as to why my last post was about 20 days ago. I guess I don't have a proper excuse, but I will be honest.

     I had no motivation. When I write a post for my blog, it's because I am passionate about that subject and have a burning desire to write about it. And lately, that just hasn't happened. But today, I am back at the keyboard ready to spill. I am going to, for lack of a better word, word vomit. Write what I think, write what I feel. I only have 2 things I really want to talk about, I'll try to keep it short :) So, let's go.

     First off, I (finally) finished Gossip Girl! Maybe 2 weeks ago I was sat in bed, laptop on my lap and decided, 'You know what? I am going to get back into Gossip Girl (I had taken a bit of a break)." So I did. I stayed up late with my laptop screen light burning into my eyes, and just kept clicking play on the next episode...and once you get into that habit, you can't stop.

     I have to tell you guys, this show is incredible. I-N-C-R-E-D-I-B-L-E. I couldn't stop watching. And it was when I got to the last episode, sitting on the front steps of my house, (instead of at the bus stop so I could use the wifi ;) ) that I realized how much I was going to miss this show. And now that it's over, I'm so sad - laughy face emoji - And I know you might think it's pathetic, but it's just like when you attach yourself to characters from a book, and then you finish reading.

     So if you are in need of a Netflix show to binge watch, and you like drama, comedy, and romance, please give Gossip Girl a chance! And tell me how you like it!

     Next up, End of Grade tests. That time of year is upon us once again - leading up to those dreaded tests that are supposed to tell us "how smart we are." I didn't realize (probably) how misinforming and unfair EOG's/standardized tests are until this year. I mean, some people are bad test-takers, but have kept up an A-honor roll their entire life - so it's not like these tests are totally truthful. And (where I live, at least), the tests measure how well you did compared to the highest scorer. So really, it's not the best representation of your intelligence.

     This kind of adds to the pressure. I mean, if you don't pass these tests, you could stay in the grade you're in. Way to keep us calm right? (lol) I do feel confident in my knowledge, (more in some areas than others) but the weight these tests put on some of our shoulders, (I'm not saying tests like these make us all nervous) can be overbearing at times. So if you ever feel nervous or anxious in a situation like this, remember to breathe and take it step by step.

     I wrote a post about Balancing Schoolwork that I guess somewhat relates to this, so if you'd like to read it, it is linked here.

     Through writing this, I've already thought of 2 more posts I want to upload soon! So watch out for those and keep reading because I have new posts coming soon (that hopefully you'll be able to relate to!)

      Thank you for sticking by me!

      Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon.

*computer hug*