Autumn is Upon Us!

Hello loves <3

     We are just a few days into autumn and I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER! This is past year I have come to LOVE fall a lot more and really appreciate the season. So, because of that, I thought I'd write a post just expressing all of my feelings about the new season.

     First of all, do you say fall or autumn? I love saying autumn, just because it rolls off of the tongue. But I kind of use the two interchangeably.

     So, when I think of autumn I immediately think: maroon & mustard & brown, boots, sweaters, leaves, hot drinks, pumpkins, bonfires, GAH IT'S JUST SO EXCITING!! What do you guys think of when you hear the word autumn (or fall)? Recently I got back into Tumblr and I've just been spending countless minutes on my computer staring at pictures of orange, yellow, red, and brown.

Side note - I didn't believe this at first, but Tumblr IS legitimately a hole. A literal hole. Once you're in YOU CAN"T GET OUT. Follow me on tumblr: harelzivan.tumblr.com

     Fall, overall, is just an aesthetically pleasing season. No matter where you look your eyes are met with a beautiful scenery. Even if it's raining - which, believe me, here it has - there's just this thing in the air that is so cozy and warm (figuratively, I mean, as it is quite chilly). Can anyone relate - it's really hard to explain in a blog post, lol.

     One of my favorite fall activities, that I'm really eager to do soon, is a bonfire. Last year, my closest friends and I gathered a bunch of sticks and sat around the warm flames munching on s'mores and just chatting for an hour or two. It was so much fun and one of my favorite memories of all of us together.

     You know those times when you just sit back for a minute and think, I am so lucky to have these people in my life and share awesome moments like this one right now? That was one of those times and I am dying to do it again.

     Something else that comes along with autumn is HOLIDAYS! Thanksgiving has become one of my favorite holidays, EVER. First of all, food is involved, so um, count me in. Second (and most important), you are spending time with the ones you love, sitting around a table together, appreciating and being thankful for everything in your life; that just makes me really happy.

     Another big one is Halloween! Some people might say that I'm too old for dressing up, but honestly I have nothing to say them except "you do you & I'll do me".  I mean, really, you telling me that I'm too old to put on a costume and go door-to-door getting free candy isn't going to make me change my mind about doing it ... Am I right or am i right? lol.

     Anyway, I love Halloween. My favorite part is either creating my costume - this year I will be making my costume or accessorizing it in some way/doing my own makeup just like I did last year and that was probably one of my favorite things about Halloween that year because I put my own spin on my appearance - or sitting in a big room with my friends, our candy collections spilled out onto the floor, and having a big candy-trade session. I mean, it's not the best Halloween ever if you don't get those vanilla Tootsie rolls your friends don't want ;)

     Finally, the fashion. As I've said in multiple previous posts, fashion is one of the biggest ways I express myself (other than writing). And during fall time there are so many new ways to accessorize and change up your outfits: knee-high socks, oversize jumpers, beanies (OH, HOW I LOVE BEANIES), boots, mittens, scarves, and so much more!!!

     I haven't stopped smiling while writing this, and that only tells you one thing: I'm passionate about what I'm writing about. Autumn is just such a beautiful season; everything about it makes me happy.

     Unfortunately, it has been raining nonstop where I live. Which, really, I don't mind too much but I would like to see a little less rain and a little more dry, chilly, breezy weather. 

     What do you think about autumn? Are you eager for the crisp, fresh air or are you dreading it? 

  

     Hopefully I'll finish everything on this checklist :)

     Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon.

*computer hug*

When You Feel Overwhelmed (Pt. 2)

Hello loves <3

     So, how have you been? I know that in my last post, which you can read here, I wrote that my next post would be all about Troye's new music, but this morning was quite eventful and I wanted to talk to you guys about it.

     My second post on this blog, posted on November 26, 2014 (ONE YEAR BLOG ANNIVERSARY COMING UP!) , was titled 'When You Feel Overwhelmed'. I wrote it because I was at a time in my life where I felt like a lot of things weren't going my way. Not school, not my friends, sometimes not even my family. Over the last year or two, this feeling has been becoming more frequent.

     In my post about being overwhelmed, I had written about how a lot of my stress stems from school. This year I entered high school, and it has been an awesome experience so far. But there is a part that's quite frustrating and stressful, and that part has been finding it's way over to me these past couple weeks.

     The past several nights have involved me staying up late, much later than is needed for me to get an appropriate amount of sleep. I used to LOVE homework and getting all my assignments done neat and perfect. Granted, I do still find it thrilling to have finished an aesthetically pleasing paper or project and admire what I've accomplished, but as years have gone by I find that doing work is more a chore than something I enjoy.

     Some of you might think I'm insane for saying I enjoy homework, but everyone's different. Of course, I love writing more than anything. Although, it doesn't help that English has not proved to be my favorite period this year. There's just something about the different styles of teaching between my teacher in 8th grade and my current teacher that hasn't made me fall in love with writing in school as much I did last year. Hopefully that will change.

     Anyway, instead of continuing on with this ramble I wanted to ramble about something else - smooth transition ;)

     Everyone stresses.

     Everyone has their own problems - those might be physical, emotional, social, whatever.

     Everyone has their own ways of dealing with those problems.

     This morning I had finished my Cheerios and gone out to my driveway to wait for my ride to school. She was running late, and so I was waiting out there for a bit. It hit me suddenly that I had forgotten my health notebook on my desk. My health teacher is really strict about notebooks - we need to have them every class. So, me being me (the crazy worry machine), I start freaking out. I threw down (well, more like gently placed because it's quite heavy) my backpack and rushed to the door. Just my luck - it's LOCKED. So, again, me being me, I start tearing up. What am I going to do? I'm going to get a zero in health. I'm going to fail. I can't wake my parents and my sisters up. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO??? 

     I masked my emotion, like I always do, and hid my face under my frizzy hair. I didn't want my friends to see the absolute weirdo I was being. I texted my parents telling them I had a rough morning and that I forgot some stuff and it seemed like everything was crashing down around me. I got to school all discombobulated and couldn't help but to fear the worst possible situation. Of course, we didn't really need our notebooks that day, LOL. But thankfully, I had an absolutely amazing friend with me the entire time. She noticed that I was "down in the dumps", you could say, and was so supportive and loyal. She offered me a hug and such kind words. I really, REALLY, appreciate that. SO much she'll never know.

     Anyway, I wanted to put that little spiel in here because it just shows you that sometimes we stress over nothing. We work ourselves up over things that easily don't matter. Take the time to breathe and just re-group, and go about your day.

     We all have our own stories. Our own demons inside. Our own worries and stressors. For me, those come from school, my appearance, and relationships with friends. Honestly, I didn't think I'd admit things like that a couple months ago. But I've changed. I've become more comfortable with myself, developed new relationships, and am starting to build a future for myself. But how am I supposed to build that future if I'm here worrying about not getting 100% on a neurotransmitters quiz?

     I'm a big believer of the phrase/idea: Don't dwell on the past or plan for the future, live in the moment. Yes, that kind of contradicts my previous statement about building a future, but that's just general; just thinking about possibilities and fantasizing about going to college and becoming a well-known writer. But anyway, I believe it's important to focus on the present, the NOW. It's kind of hard to do that when all of these thoughts and worries get in my head and in my way. You feel me?

     I started meditating just recently; I'll let you know how it goes. Maybe it will really make a change and improve my temper or something. But I want to make a change. Stop draining all of my energy over stupid, little worry bugs. In a previous post I compared insecurities to pests that you should just flick off. Well, I'm gonna do the same with stress. JUST FLICK IT RIGHT OFF. Let it bounce off of you. You have a built-in shield around you that doesn't let anything get in your way. Granted, that shield might be dented or even cracked sometimes, but you should always mend it back up and keep your feet planted on the ground, ready to move past anything that's causing you to feel as though everything is crashing down around you.

     If any of you can relate or even just need to talk, I'm always here! E-mail me anytime! harelrziv@gmail.com

     Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon.

*computer hug*

Eyes Shut - Years & Years

Hello loves <3

     As I was studying for some tests today I shuffled my playlist on Spotify and the song "Eyes Shut" by Years & Years came on. One of my amazing friends recommended Years & Years to me, and I added 4 of their songs to my playlist, this one included. When I first listened to the group, "Real" became my favorite, but after today it has been replaced

    I didn't appreciate how amazing "Eyes Shut" really is until tonight. It's a song with so much emotion attached to it (yes, I'm listening to it on repeat right now). The piano introduction is heavenly, and the way the piano sounds align with the lyrics is just incredible. Olly Alexander, lead singer of Years & Years, is so talented it physically blows my mind. His voice is pretty much perfect.

     I was trying to explain this to my friends today: my favorite part of the song is the snapping in the background. None of them understood what I meant - I meant the physical snaps that they created with their fingers, lol. Anyway, what I recommend is to listen to the song with earbuds and the volume as high as you'd like (I prefer full blast...). The snaps just reach my ears and ripple through my entire body. That is what music is supposed to feel like. That is pure bliss.

    To me, the song means discovering who you are and becoming stronger. You know that you have the abilities to be who you want to be - and no one else's actions can affect your journey to do so. You can see through you eyes shut, you can see that people are trying to sabotage what you're trying to accomplish, but they're not going to get in your way.

    The 2 other members of the group, Mikey Goldsworthy and Emre Turkmen, play their instruments so beautifully and the sound produced when you put all three of them together is purely angelic.

So there's a specific version of the song that is my favorite because it really emphasizes the snapping (lol, I know I'm weird), so I'd listen to this one :)

     If you haven't listened to Years & Years I DEFINITELY recommend it. If you have, what's your favorite one of their songs? If you've listened to "Eyes Shut", what do you think is the meaning/connotation behind it?

     Thank you so much for reading and I'll talk to you soon.

*computer hug*

Update Post

Hello loves <3

     A few weeks ago I posted an update post and just talked about what's going on & what I've been up to. Today's post is one of those :)

     School starts in two days. TWO DAYS. If you read my Freshman Year post, you will know that I'm SO excited for the upcoming school year! I'd say I'm about 25% nervous, 75% excited. Is that too much excitement? Nah, I don't think so.

     I've pretty much finished all of my Back to School shopping - supplies haul is going up on my YouTube channel this coming Tuesday! This past week my mom and I have gone shopping and now my wardrobe is full of new items!

     I don't know about you, but fashion is something I absolutely LOVE. I love choosing different outfits each day and styling different clothes to go with different shoes & other accessories. My favorite "types" or "categories" of clothing are dresses & rompers. Some (well, most) think that dresses are "fancy clothing". Which, sometimes they are: long evening gowns, wedding dresses, etc. But I wear dresses on a daily basis. I like "dressing them down" some with cardigans and jackets (leather ones, especially) & love to pair them with tall boots, sandals, every shoe imaginable.

     Anyway, I'm telling you this because I've finished planning out my first week outfits, which, for the record, took a lot longer than I had anticipated, lol. I'm going to start the week off with a dress, then jeans, then a skirt, a romper, and a dress again. If you guys would like a First Week of School Outfits post, leave a comment! I'd love to write one.

     My mom also surprised me today with a new backpack! I was originally going to use the pink Adidas one I used last year, but today she came home with a beautiful black one from Vera Bradley. Here are pictures of both:

     My new one, even though I thought it was going to be too small, fits everything I need it to! And that's 3 1.5 inch binders plus a couple notebooks & books, so it's awesome! It's soft and comfortable which is great. So thank you, mom!

     Also, I've decided to start uploading bi-weekly on my channel. It might return to once a week because of school beginning, but for right now I'm uploading on both Tuesdays & Fridays. I hope you tune in & subscribe! x

     I know the topics in this post kind of were all over the place, but I hope you enjoyed nonetheless.

     Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon.

*computer hug*

Long Distance Friendships

Hello loves <3

     How are you? How's your summer been? Any more plans to squeeze in before back to school? 

     Anyway, today I'm writing a blog post that I should've written a LONG time ago, haha. 

     A couple months ago my family and I were at our friends for dinner. On the car ride there I had started snap chatting my friend who I've known since a month after I was born. She lived in Israel just as I did. I moved three years after I was born and she has lived in Israel her entire life until a few years ago when she moved to California. We used to see each other SO often when we lived in the same country. I have so many pictures & so many memories that I will cherish forever. We did so much together & went through so many milestones together. 

     I asked her if she had any summer plans and she said that she was going to Israel. So I told her that maybe she could come here and visit us before or after her trip. I'm a very sensitive person and more often than not, take things out of proportion. I don't remember the conversation very clearly anymore, but I remember feeling as though she really didn't want to come see me or come to where I live. 

     I tried to hide it from my family, but I started crying. It made me so upset that someone that I've been so close to didn't want to come see me after years of absence of eachother, well that's how it looked to me, at least. It's so hard to tell what a person means when you're not having a face-to-face conversation and you're texting, or in this case on Snapchat. 

     I just sat there on our friends couch as all my feelings built up. My memories of her and the things we used to do and all the trips we went on and how often we used to see each other came to mind. All the fun times we'd had, all the times my family had visited home (Israel). And I couldn't hold it in. I asked for the keys and went back to the car saying that I had forgotten something and needed to go in there to get it. I just sat there and cried, alone, thinking about how my best friend for so long was so far away (yes, she was closer than when she was in Israel, but the other side of the country is a pretty big distance as well). 

     When I thought I'd composed myself I came back inside. My mom noticed, as she always does, that something was wrong. She took me out on the porch and I spilled everything to her. She assured me that that was definitely not the way my friend had meant to come across. As I've said in previous posts, I have a very big problem with communicating and a lot of that contributes to me taking things the wrong way when I'm not having a face-to-face conversation with the person I'm talking to. And that's what my mom told me. That I shouldn't worry and I should stop crying because I'm taking something and blowing it up into something it's not. She told me I should keep in contact  - something everyone should keep in mind when having a friendship or any sort of relationship both near or far.

     We used to see each other a lot more, but as we haven't visited Israel in a while or been to California we haven't seen each other in quite some time – a couple years. A couple too many. We've grown further apart than I'd ever wanted us to. 

      It's been a long time since I've properly seen her face over FaceTime or Skype, which we used to do so much. it makes me really upset to think about how great a friendship we used to have and now it's close to gone. As I write this I am tearing up, but I know this year is going to be different and this year I'm going to make change.

     Anyway, when I went back inside I decided to text someone I knew would make me happy and would help me: Chummy - my closest friend in the world. She always has the kindest words for every situation I throw her and I'm forever grateful for that. She sent me this fantastic long text about how my friend did not mean it in the way I perceived it and she misses me just as much as I miss her. Also, that I should definitely keep in contact and call her because if not my friendship is at risk. It's not enough to just text every couple weeks or every couple months, you have to remain in close contact just like you would with a friend who lives right next door. 

     I don't remember everything that Chummy told me, but I know that it helped just like my mom's words did. With their comforting words and love I was able to get over myself and think positive.

     No, the point of this post was not to tell you a story about the time I cried for no reason, but to tell you guys about how long-distance friendships can work as long as YOU and your friend(s) put IN the work. 

     It's hard being away from someone you love and someone you hold so dear. It's hard not knowing the next time you'll see them, or if you're ever going to see them again at all. The future is an evil and amazing thing. It tortures us with the unknown yet it rewards us with the amazing things that happen (and yes, some not so amazing things but let us focus on the great things). 

     With today's technology there is a way to get in touch with anyone, anywhere in the world no matter how far away they are from where you're standing. But, no FaceTime call is going to amount to the amount of fun and happiness you have when you are together, with them, in the flesh. I get that, and if you have a friend or family member in a different state or country you probably get that too. 

     But, we have to have a positive outlook. And I know that some people can't be positive all the time, I'm definitely one of those people. But when it comes to situations like these, we have no choice but to be positive. Because if not, we'll probably reach the worst possible scenario (that's different for everyone). 

     I know it's hard. Being away from a person, or people, that you see as the best thing in your life. Being away from the person that makes you smile the widest, laugh the hardest. But, you're going to have to deal with it just like you deal with any other obstacle that the world throws your way. And no, I'm not talking about bawling your eyes out into your pillow in the dark hours of the night, alone in your bedroom (which, no lie, I have done multiple times). I'm talking about keeping your chin up, your head held high, and thinking about the absolutely incredible times you've had with this person, or people, and think about how you can make that time with them even BETTER. 

     Look, I know you might be thinking: who the heck is this girl, none of her rants are making me feel better (let's hope you're not thinking that, but there probably will be someone who will). But, I do hope that you take what I say into consideration. Keep up with the phone calls, the video chats, the texts (but mainly the first two). 

**Side note, that crying event I told you about happened a couple months ago and Chummy had motivated me to FaceTime my friend and I still haven't. I've been scared. I've been nervous. I been horrified that she'll think "why is this girl calling me?!" But honestly, even though in the back of my mind those things are still there, they probably aren't true. Hopefully, she wants to talk to me as much as I want to her. And if you're feeling scared or nervous just as I am, remember my words and remember that you're probably taking things out of proportion and you will NOT let your nerves control you. So, that being said I am making it a primary goal this year to keep in touch with my best friend, video chat her constantly and maintain a solid connection. I'll let you know how that goes ;)

     If you have a friend, a sibling, a family member or anyone else close to you that lives a bit farther away than you'd like, ;), share any of your KIND words or experiences in the comments. Let's help eachother get through tough times. My heart goes out to all of you. 

     Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon. 

*computer hug*

Punta Cana Vacation Photos!

Hello loves <3

     I promised you a post full of pictures and today that's what you're going to get! Some of these photos had really weird lighting so sorry about that, lol. I hope you enjoy the pictures from our family vacation to the Dominican Republic!

plane ride!

cirque show! absolutely amazing!

see what i mean?! this lighting makes our faces look so weird lol

     Out of the (almost) 400 pictures we had taken throughout this trip, I've narrowed it down to about 50 :) I hope you enjoyed looking through them!

     Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon.

*computer hug*