Long Distance Friendships

Hello loves <3

     How are you? How's your summer been? Any more plans to squeeze in before back to school? 

     Anyway, today I'm writing a blog post that I should've written a LONG time ago, haha. 

     A couple months ago my family and I were at our friends for dinner. On the car ride there I had started snap chatting my friend who I've known since a month after I was born. She lived in Israel just as I did. I moved three years after I was born and she has lived in Israel her entire life until a few years ago when she moved to California. We used to see each other SO often when we lived in the same country. I have so many pictures & so many memories that I will cherish forever. We did so much together & went through so many milestones together. 

     I asked her if she had any summer plans and she said that she was going to Israel. So I told her that maybe she could come here and visit us before or after her trip. I'm a very sensitive person and more often than not, take things out of proportion. I don't remember the conversation very clearly anymore, but I remember feeling as though she really didn't want to come see me or come to where I live. 

     I tried to hide it from my family, but I started crying. It made me so upset that someone that I've been so close to didn't want to come see me after years of absence of eachother, well that's how it looked to me, at least. It's so hard to tell what a person means when you're not having a face-to-face conversation and you're texting, or in this case on Snapchat. 

     I just sat there on our friends couch as all my feelings built up. My memories of her and the things we used to do and all the trips we went on and how often we used to see each other came to mind. All the fun times we'd had, all the times my family had visited home (Israel). And I couldn't hold it in. I asked for the keys and went back to the car saying that I had forgotten something and needed to go in there to get it. I just sat there and cried, alone, thinking about how my best friend for so long was so far away (yes, she was closer than when she was in Israel, but the other side of the country is a pretty big distance as well). 

     When I thought I'd composed myself I came back inside. My mom noticed, as she always does, that something was wrong. She took me out on the porch and I spilled everything to her. She assured me that that was definitely not the way my friend had meant to come across. As I've said in previous posts, I have a very big problem with communicating and a lot of that contributes to me taking things the wrong way when I'm not having a face-to-face conversation with the person I'm talking to. And that's what my mom told me. That I shouldn't worry and I should stop crying because I'm taking something and blowing it up into something it's not. She told me I should keep in contact  - something everyone should keep in mind when having a friendship or any sort of relationship both near or far.

     We used to see each other a lot more, but as we haven't visited Israel in a while or been to California we haven't seen each other in quite some time – a couple years. A couple too many. We've grown further apart than I'd ever wanted us to. 

      It's been a long time since I've properly seen her face over FaceTime or Skype, which we used to do so much. it makes me really upset to think about how great a friendship we used to have and now it's close to gone. As I write this I am tearing up, but I know this year is going to be different and this year I'm going to make change.

     Anyway, when I went back inside I decided to text someone I knew would make me happy and would help me: Chummy - my closest friend in the world. She always has the kindest words for every situation I throw her and I'm forever grateful for that. She sent me this fantastic long text about how my friend did not mean it in the way I perceived it and she misses me just as much as I miss her. Also, that I should definitely keep in contact and call her because if not my friendship is at risk. It's not enough to just text every couple weeks or every couple months, you have to remain in close contact just like you would with a friend who lives right next door. 

     I don't remember everything that Chummy told me, but I know that it helped just like my mom's words did. With their comforting words and love I was able to get over myself and think positive.

     No, the point of this post was not to tell you a story about the time I cried for no reason, but to tell you guys about how long-distance friendships can work as long as YOU and your friend(s) put IN the work. 

     It's hard being away from someone you love and someone you hold so dear. It's hard not knowing the next time you'll see them, or if you're ever going to see them again at all. The future is an evil and amazing thing. It tortures us with the unknown yet it rewards us with the amazing things that happen (and yes, some not so amazing things but let us focus on the great things). 

     With today's technology there is a way to get in touch with anyone, anywhere in the world no matter how far away they are from where you're standing. But, no FaceTime call is going to amount to the amount of fun and happiness you have when you are together, with them, in the flesh. I get that, and if you have a friend or family member in a different state or country you probably get that too. 

     But, we have to have a positive outlook. And I know that some people can't be positive all the time, I'm definitely one of those people. But when it comes to situations like these, we have no choice but to be positive. Because if not, we'll probably reach the worst possible scenario (that's different for everyone). 

     I know it's hard. Being away from a person, or people, that you see as the best thing in your life. Being away from the person that makes you smile the widest, laugh the hardest. But, you're going to have to deal with it just like you deal with any other obstacle that the world throws your way. And no, I'm not talking about bawling your eyes out into your pillow in the dark hours of the night, alone in your bedroom (which, no lie, I have done multiple times). I'm talking about keeping your chin up, your head held high, and thinking about the absolutely incredible times you've had with this person, or people, and think about how you can make that time with them even BETTER. 

     Look, I know you might be thinking: who the heck is this girl, none of her rants are making me feel better (let's hope you're not thinking that, but there probably will be someone who will). But, I do hope that you take what I say into consideration. Keep up with the phone calls, the video chats, the texts (but mainly the first two). 

**Side note, that crying event I told you about happened a couple months ago and Chummy had motivated me to FaceTime my friend and I still haven't. I've been scared. I've been nervous. I been horrified that she'll think "why is this girl calling me?!" But honestly, even though in the back of my mind those things are still there, they probably aren't true. Hopefully, she wants to talk to me as much as I want to her. And if you're feeling scared or nervous just as I am, remember my words and remember that you're probably taking things out of proportion and you will NOT let your nerves control you. So, that being said I am making it a primary goal this year to keep in touch with my best friend, video chat her constantly and maintain a solid connection. I'll let you know how that goes ;)

     If you have a friend, a sibling, a family member or anyone else close to you that lives a bit farther away than you'd like, ;), share any of your KIND words or experiences in the comments. Let's help eachother get through tough times. My heart goes out to all of you. 

     Thank you for reading and I'll talk to you soon. 

*computer hug*